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228: The Gift of Failure - Raising Resilient Kids - Jessica Lahey

On Air with Ella - podcast episode 228

jessica lahey

In this episode, I'm talking to author, educator and mom Jessica Lahey about:

  • What does the term enmeshment mean and why are we parenting this way

  • "Competitive parenting" is practically an Olympic sport these days...ugh!

  • How many of us can unwittingly look to our children to provide the feedback we need in order to feel as if we are doing our jobs well, and how this ultimately hurts us both

  • The problem with viewing our children's accomplishments as a measure of our own success

  • The great backfiring of "helicopter parenting"

  • Ideally we want to raise our children for independence, equipping them to live in the reality of the world. But, how?

  • Permissive parenting vs. Directive parenting vs. Autonomy-supporting parenting

Every time we rescue, hover or otherwise save our children from a challenge or a consequence, we send a very clear message that we believe they are unable and unworthy of our faith in them to sort it out themselves. - Jessica Lahey


the gift of failure book



Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer and mom. Over 20 years, she’s taught from sixth to twelfth in public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting and child welfare for The Atlantic, The Washington Post and the New York Times, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, will be released in April 2021.



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xxoo Ella


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