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Not Seeking Validation.

It's time to stop looking outside yourself for recognition, validation and approval.

NOT SEEKING VALIDATION (but thanks anyway).

In episode 214 of the On Air with Ella podcast, Tillie Harris talks about how available we make ourselves to other people's judgment.

Well, I’m no longer available. I am off the market.

What does it look like to self-validate?

To secure your identity and affirmation from within?

Where would you even start?

To seek self-validation is to consider the source of what makes us feel worthy. It is to choose recognition and validation from within, instead of withOUT. What does that look like for you? Is it deciding that you’re worthy no matter what body you show up in? Is it working toward wholeness instead of seeking “other half-ness” in relationship? Is it making yourself less available to others’ opinions? Is it pursuing your professional goals in the face of setbacks?

"When others’ opinions matter more than our own, we don’t trust our own thoughts, feelings and judgments."

It’s normal to want validation from others – but it’s common to seek external validation to an unhealthy level. What that looks like: We doubt our abilities if we’re not explicitly (and frequently) told we’re doing well. We might check our social media posts all too often looking for approval. We will rely on others to make us feel good, important, useful, worthy - and we question our worth if others don’t value us.

When we're operating this way, criticism or disapproval is especially painful because we put so much value on other people’s opinions.

When others’ opinions matter more than our own, we don’t trust our own thoughts, feelings and judgments. We can be needy and ask for validation in ways that turn others off – in ways that scream my self-esteem is lacking and I need you to tell me I’m okay!

Let's break up with our dependency on validation from others. Let's take ourselves OFF THE MARKET.

I will stamp my own ticket....."NOT SEEKING VALIDATION." But, thanks anyway.

What does self-validation look like and feel like for you?

What does it mean to you, and what will you let go of?


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xxoo Ella


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