On Air with Ella episode 334
Personal growth starts with understanding ourselves better
In this episode, we're answering two listener questions:
how to overcome overanalyzing and self-doubt in social situations, and
how to find one's identity and purpose after years of caretaking.
Tillie Harris provides insights into attachment styles and how they can influence our behavior and relationships, and offers practical tips for building a stronger relationship with oneself in the pursuit of finding our purpose.
We're talking about overcoming overanalyzing and insecurity, social anxiety, understanding attachment styles, building a relationship with oneself, and finding personal identity and purpose.
The more threatened we feel, the more we need to control. And if we can't control anything else, we'll control the narrative. - Tillie Harris
IN THIS EPISODE:
A listener asks for tips on overcoming overanalyzing and self-doubt
The role of the internal critic and its origin
The concept of attachment styles and their impact on relationships
How a fear of not being thought about can drive our behavior
Attachment styles and survival strategies
Why we overanalyze and assign negative motives to others
Training the brain to behave differently and remapping the story
Overcoming the fear of rejection and embracing flexibility
A listener asks for help in finding identity after leaving her job for motherhood
How to find out what to do next
Overcoming guilt - being self-focused isn't being selfish
Your intuition will tell you if you are listening
Communicating to your loved ones about your personal exploration
Starting where you are and practical resources to help
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love - by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - a user-friendly guide to understanding attachment styles and their impact on relationships.
Two books that helped me when I felt like I didn't know what to do next - both by Danielle LaPorte:
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Overanalyzing conversations and seeking validation from others is a common issue that stems from our attachment styles and fear of rejection.
Overanalyzing and insecurity in social situations can be addressed by understanding one's attachment style and working on building a stronger relationship with oneself.
Attachment styles, such as avoidant or anxious, can influence our behavior and relationships. Recognizing and understanding our attachment style can help us navigate social interactions more effectively.
Building a relationship with oneself requires self-reflection and exploration. Starting small and focusing on personal preferences and desires can help reestablish a sense of identity and purpose.
Tuning into one's intuition and making choices based on personal preferences can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
It is important to communicate with loved ones about personal growth and the need for self-focus. Showing the workings behind personal decisions can help others understand and support the journey.
CONNECT WITH TILLIE HARRIS
My training is in social anthropology, coaching and psychotherapy. I use these approaches to understand teams, audiences and individuals to create lasting change.
I work with organisations to understand internal and external stakeholders and create communications to drive engagement and growth.
I also design and deliver workshops to improve personal and organisational communications and support personal effectiveness.
When I am not working in the corporate world, I write books, run personal development retreats, and generally explore the world through stories.
Connect with Tillie: LinkedIN
Learn more about Tillie's coaching programs: https://tillieharris.com/
Click for Episode 334 transcript
LET'S TALK
Have a question that you want to share? I would love to hear from you, and possibly answer your question on the air! Message me:
Instagram: @onairwithella
Leave me a voice message: +1 (202) 681-0388
xoxo Ella
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